So farewell Page Three... for a moment, at least. They had us going there. But let's not get too excited. Twenty-two year-old Nicole from Bournemouth exposes herself in today's Sun. Back to basics, then. Cunning stunt. They've got to get people to buy the 'news'paper somehow.

I'd never have made it onto Page Three, not even if I'd wanted to. I never had 'the build'. But I was amused to receive this leaving card when I moved on from Chrysalis Records, made by Tef and Dave in Art. The feminazis have banged on for decades about the way Page Three objectifies women, perpetuating the myth that we are good for only one thing. That it diminishes us, and renders us the weaker sex. 

I have always believed the opposite. If anything, Page Three diminishes men. Are most males that stupid, sexist and sleazy? Are they stuck in the Dark Ages? Is this country really dominated by White Van Man leering at teenaged schoolgirls from a wound-down window? No. Page Three insults the intelligence of the enlightened male majority. That is the truth about why it should go. The tits who run the rag calling time on the bare-bazoomed? That would be poetic.

I agree with the observation that, had not Clare Short and her ilk banged angry feminist drums for so long, Page Three would probably have faded away naturally, years ago. It may well have fitted the culture during the Seventies. It doesn't now. 

While I remain pro-choice, topless models do not belong in a family newspaper. I heard one busty beaut admit on Sky News that she won't allow the Sun at her breakfast table, because she doesn't want her eight year-old son to see Page Three - even though it's stripping for money that pays for their Coco Pops. The irony. 

At Chrysalis Records, the Press Office maintained a Willie Wall, in retaliation against the many male staff members who had posters of Foxes and Lusardis taped above their desks. It made the men uncomfortable. Few of them wanted to attend meetings in that office, pouted down upon by naked males flashing generous genitalia. The point was made. The breasts came down. The Willie Wall? Never!